In the late 1950s, Reverend Lawson met with the minors known as “The Little Rock Nine,” who with their parents consent were going to be the first blacks to begin desegregation by attending Little Rock Central High School that before then had no black students. When he heard that they had been instructed “not to fight back,” he was outraged, because they were being violently confronted by white students and the Ku Klux Klan.
Lawson advised that “you are to fight back, but not imitate the enemies that are trying to drive you out of school” and “not acting like they are doing to you.”
I’d prefer not to label or think of those whose behavior we wish to change as “enemies.” The oppression, racisism, system, behavior, violence, etc., are the enemies, not the people who are propogating these things.
But nonviolence is NOT pacifivism, avoiding violence at all costs. Nonviolence starts by inner transformation of one’s anger until one no longer sees the “other” as the enemy. If you still feel angry, annoyed, or resentful, you have more inner work to do. If you still see the other as separate or the enemy, you still have more inner work to do. If you still want to punish, you have more inner work to do. If you keep thinking about what the other “should” have done, you have more inner work to do. As you inquire within, below the anger, you will likely find feelings and thoughts of powerlessness, hopelessness, helplessness, grief, fear, and/or sadness regarding needs that are very important to you. Perhaps those needs are one or more of the following: mutuality, respect, trust, safety, sustainability, health, diversity. You’ll notice that you have quite the energy that wants to manifest such things.
After you gain clarity as to what you want, see if you might find compassion for the other person. You might find through guesses or perhaps even dialogue that they are driven by some of the very same needs as you have. ONce you see their humanity, you are ready to go to battle and fight against their oppression, racisism, system, behavior, violence, etc., but not against them as people. We are all one. The hallmark of true nonviolence is that your strategies will eventually win over the others as your friends. Highlight the absurdity or unreasonableness of their actions, but do so with respect for their viewpoints and right to choose. Just like you do not want to be forced into changing your opinion or doing things you do not want to do, treat them the same.